We hear from you every day about our long, strong and proud reputation as LAX's worst park-n-ride shuttle service. Fear not, we are committed to our AAA (Above Average Asshole) standard of Outstanding Assholyness.
Under the leadership of Manager, Alex Maki, a true leader in Above Average Assholyness, anyone with any human qualities has been "FIRED" without notice and replaced by an entire team of Outstanding Assholes!
In the true and proud Johnny Park LAX tradition, Mr, Maki has spent many hours screaming and yelling at any staff member that dares treat a client with any respect. Dedicated to keeping a high level of Outstanding Assholyness, Mr. Maki has refined his employees bait-n-switch pricing techniques. Any employees that may not have been able to properly screw clients over have been terminated.
To show our appreciation for once again nominating us "Most Outstanding Assholes" for LAX park-n-ride shuttles, we have created a special Summer Offer. For those clients of ours that cannot afford the "Indoor" parking fees, we have arranged for your car to be parked somewhere in the LA River. Our employees will make certain that it is so filthy when you pick it up that you don't even recognize your vehicle through the layers of added muck.
As if that wasn't enough ... while quantities last, to further encourage you to use our more expensive "Indoor" parking we will place a dead rodent in your vehicle and not even charge you for it. That's right ... you are reading correctly! It will just be a surprise. We won't tell you where it is. That is all part of the fun. Maybe you will be driving home in the dark and it will be in a cup of soda you left in your car. Maybe you'll need to take a pill and reach for the cup to take a sip and wonder what is that funky smell? We won't charge you for the funky smell either! Because we are here to please! That would be a thick layer of mold growing on the rats face. But since you picked up your car at night, you won't see the rat till the next day. We always like to have the last laugh at your expense. Keeps those "Outstanding Asshole" nominations rolling in!
Don't miss out!!! Call to make your reservation now!!! (800) 958-3335. Los Angeles only has so many rats and you don't want to miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime Summertime Special!
See you soon,
Johnny Park LAX
11101 S. Hindry Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90045
(310) 338-3370
http://www.johnnyparklax.com/
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3 comments:
lol yeah this happened to me too! the worst part was trying to contact the manager. Don't remember his name but yeah ... he was a total douche. Pretty much told me the same thing.
No this isn't a joke! Totally happened to me last week! I think I spoke with the same guy but I'm not sure. He was so rude. Good for you post this.
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